Real Life Sex Can Be Rich-When You Befriend Your Anxieties

Sex-Related Anxieties Abound

Real Life Sex is what I have dubbed sex as it happens in the real world versus what happens on-screen. In real life, there are no chiffon dresses, violins, panning away with the camera, “perfect” bodies, or other notions about what “perfect” sex might look like. Nor is it always “smokin’ hot,” spontaneous or even satisfying.

Real Life Sex is also filled with real

Scary, Scary Good, or Just Plain Good?

Thoughts, Fears and Feedback About Our Couples Retreats

When I created Passion & Presence@ Couples Retreats, Halko and I assumed droves of growth-oriented pleasure-seekers would jump at the chance to use eroticism as their pathway to healing and transformation.  It seemed obvious that all those conjugal “roommates” out there (an estimated 20% of couples) would trip over themselves to establish a more vital erotic connection.


Shh… Are the Kids Asleep Yet?

As a couple do you wonder how to model healthy sexuality to your children?

There are many ways to educate our children about sex. One way is through our words and what we say about sex, but children learn even more enduring lessons by observing our behavior.  Just as you learned about sex by observing how the people around you handled sexuality, your children are also

How Joannides is Turning Sex Education Into a Laughing Matter

Who said learning about sex had to be so deadly serious?

You would think that learning about sex might feel, well…fun and sexy. Not so. As a trained sex therapist, I can relate to this statement: “It’s frightening how boring researchers can make an exciting subject.”  That comes from the respected research psychoanalyst Paul Joannides, author of The Guide to Getting it

Resetting to Sexy (Between those Diaper Changes)

Are you the mother of young kids? Do you seem to have swapped desire for diapers?

On becoming proud parents, you’ve seen some of your friends slip into the Not So Sexy Zone, or even the dreaded Sexless Zone, a zone from which few seem to ever fully return. You swore it would never happen to you, but here you are, elbow deep in diapers, and your greatest longings now are centered on getting even one good night’s sleep, or perhaps a relaxing bubble bath. Hot sex, or even sex, seems to be a distant memory, albeit one that may have landed you where you are now.

From Performance to Pleasure: Saying ‘YES’ to Sacred Hedonism

Susan Frioni hosts the podcast LOVE SEX DESIRE from Brisbane, Australia, where she also leads “sexy and soulful” Sacred Dance Parties. Attendees of her next event, themed “Resurrected,” are invited to consider What part of you is aching to be brought back to life?” Although the dance is a great distance away, Frioni’s question lives very near to my heart. I’ve incurred a few losses recently that have been unsettling and painful, but have also made space to experience more joy.

Couples Retreats, Mindfulness|

A Mindful Approach to Your Child’s Emerging Sexuality

Perhaps your small child wants to know what a body part is, say during bath time. Or your son or daughter is dating for the first time, and you are wondering how informed they are when navigating new sexual waters. For many of us, embarrassment and even shame may emerge when we try to talk about these things, despite our best intentions. I was lucky enough to have a mother who was willing to answer with candor my increasingly probing questions about sex, but the statistics show that most of us do not even get the “nuts and bolts” from our parents.

MEN & SEX: Beyond the Perfect Storm

“Being a great lover is not about performance, it’s about mindful exploration. That never gets old.” -Halko Weiss

Getting men to open up about difficulties around sex is about as tough as it comes. It seems like the more women want to talk about it, the more defensive and clammed up her guy becomes. I co-facilitate Passion and Presence® retreats with Halko Weiss, who is also my partner. He’s been leading couple’s retreats for over 20 years. Time and time again, it is the woman who wants to sign up but her partner is reluctant. Halko’s conclusion: Men are afraid of exposing their perceived inadequacies.

SECRET PLEASURES: Uncoupling Sex From Shame

“There are two ways to absolve ourselves of shame: One is to speak of it, share it, expose it to the light and watch it burn away. The other is to use it.” Joy Davidson

In our culture, there is still a lot of shame around sex, even for men. We all know the demeaning words that sexually fearless women can be called, and even men can be shamed by being labeled “womanizers”, or worse, “dogs.”


BORED WITH YOUR PARTNER? 3 Passionate Ways To Reconnect

Nature is playing a trick on you …

Falling in love is the greatest “turn on.” When we’re in love, we feel high thanks to a potent and addictive “passion cocktail” of biochemicals that stimulate the reward centers of the brain. Essentially, this is nature’s trick to nudge couples to hook up and reproduce.

Soon after, however — somewhere between six months and two years — nature wants to

Long Term Relationships|