If you are enjoying a thriving, inspired erotic life with your long-term partner, congratulations. Passionate sex is rare for couples that have been together for some time. Typically, passion fades after the honeymoon period. That’s why people more often will ask me:
It’s that time of year again where images of romance, candle-lit dinners, roses, and sexy lingerie herald expectations of great sex.
However, over the years, the weight of domestic burdens combined with over-familiarity can make rapturous sex a distant memory. After years of being together, you may feel like the novelty is washed up as well. Perhaps you’ve been finishing each other’s sentences from the start,
Forget those New Year’s Resolutions, Notice the Now
If your sex life as a couple has taken a nose dive over the years, you might be tempted to create New Year’s resolutions to “fix” it. In fact, about a quarter of us make resolutions around relationships at the start of the year; and sadly, few of us keep them. When it comes to a flagging
Receiving a cancer diagnosis is a terrifying experience for anyone. My brush with such a diagnosis occurred in September when my doctor urged me to see a urologist to rule out bladder cancer. Medical information abounds online, which is how I became an overnight expert on the two kinds of bladder cancers and the invasive procedures used to diagnose and treat them.
When we fall in love it’s all sunshine and roses. But down the road, we may find that we are getting sunburn and pricked by love’s thorns on a regular basis. Why the drastic turn around?
As part of a committed couple, your partner cannot help but hold a big shiny mirror in front of you whenever you interact. At the “love
Sex-Related Anxieties Abound
Real Life Sex is what I have dubbed sex as it happens in the real world versus what happens on-screen. In real life, there are no chiffon dresses, violins, panning away with the camera, “perfect” bodies, or other notions about what “perfect” sex might look like. Nor is it always “smokin’ hot,” spontaneous or even satisfying.
Real Life Sex is also filled with real
As a couple do you wonder how to model healthy sexuality to your children?
There are many ways to educate our children about sex. One way is through our words and what we say about sex, but children learn even more enduring lessons by observing our behavior. Just as you learned about sex by observing how the people around you handled sexuality, your children are also
“Being a great lover is not about performance, it’s about mindful exploration. That never gets old.” -Halko Weiss
Getting men to open up about difficulties around sex is about as tough as it comes. It seems like the more women want to talk about it, the more defensive and clammed up her guy becomes. I co-facilitate Passion and Presence® retreats with Halko Weiss, who is also my partner. He’s been leading couple’s retreats for over 20 years. Time and time again, it is the woman who wants to sign up but her partner is reluctant. Halko’s conclusion: Men are afraid of exposing their perceived inadequacies.
Nature is playing a trick on you …
Falling in love is the greatest “turn on.” When we’re in love, we feel high thanks to a potent and addictive “passion cocktail” of biochemicals that stimulate the reward centers of the brain. Essentially, this is nature’s trick to nudge couples to hook up and reproduce.
Soon after, however — somewhere between six months and two years — nature wants to
“Pleasure lies in the call and response of two attuned partners who are not striving, but allowing eroticism to lead.”
What if it were possible to become alive with your partner again, even though you have been in a long-term relationship? What would it look like to be present to the passion that could exist if it wasn’t hidden by old injuries, disappointment and familiarity?